Once upon a time there was this buffalo, see, and he was really confused. Like, reeeeaally confused. A crow was perched nearby and saw him looking so confused.
“What’s the matter with you?” asked the crow.
“I’m so confused,” the buffalo replied, “I feel pulled in different directions and I don’t know what to do.”
“Listen to your gut!” the crow squawked.
The buffalo looked uneasy.
“But,” he said, “I have four of them.”
“Listen to them all!”
The buffalo walked in circles for the rest of the day.
The next morning, he was more confused than ever. This time, an eagle came down and perched on a branch beside him.
“You have four stomachs,” the eagle told him.
“Yes! and they spin me in all directions!”
“Don’t listen to any of them,” said the eagle, and he flew away.
The buffalo sat down for a moment, but then one of his stomachs started grumbling, so he got up, forgetting what the eagle had told him. An instant later, he remembered and sat down once more. He tried to ignore his stomach, but then another one began to chime in. Then another. And another! All of them, grumbling, grumbling, grumbling, grumbling…
This was too much. Finally, he got up.
Again, he began to walk in circles.
“You know,” he said to himself, “this isn’t so bad.”
At some point, he died.
~ FINIS ~